In corporate world you have Goldmines and Landmines. Those who find a goldmine - succeed, those who hit the land mine – perish. But those who find a goldmine and place a landmine over it – rule the place!
If you know the work, you are just a worker. If you don’t know but still strive to fake it, you are the senior worker. If all know, that you don’t know, but you still manage it, you are the manager. If you know your managers and don’t know what they manage in general, you are the General Manager. And when you bang the table and say, I need not know anything to manage everything, you are the TOP BOSS!
What we learn in our school and college, should be kept aside. Here it’s a delicate art. When to say, what to say, how to say, how much to say, whom to say and where to say? Type or talk? Mail or call? Who should read the mail and who should be kept off the list? This or that attachment? Which data should be sent and which shouldn’t be? When a mistake should be deliberate? When a fact should be revealed? When to call for a meeting, when to stay closed in a cabin? The list of this art will never end. If you have mastered all these, in worst of storms you will still float like a fallen tree.
If you are the worker, the sooner you alienate yourself from work, the faster you grow. Just be smart enough to convince the senior, that more you remain at work, greater the harm you may cause. Senior will understand. He did the same thing. Start looking for the bigger picture. If its not there, create one. But remember while you do that, you are standing on the smaller picture. Don’t worry, none above have the flexibility to bend and check what you are hiding.
If you are the senior, you should not work. You should fake it. Very soon you will be the manager if you start managing your fake art smartly. When its said ‘smartly’, the rule is simple. All mistakes are THEIRS, all accomplishments are MINE. You should be the header and footer expert. Insist all ideas to be sent as a document. Change the header and footer. Stamp your name on it and send as your idea. It works!
As a Manager you are above worries. People below will judge you but do nothing about it. People above can judge but won’t judge you. For judging, they need to know why and what you are supposed to manage. And never worry they won’t understand a bit of it. Time is ripe for you to ignore the body of the mail and worry about those is in the To and CC list.
When you get the cabin the message is clear. Now on everything is transparent. After all you are behind glass walls. But transparency ends there. Minus side is you are not direct ears to gossip. You must manage your managers to hear that. That’s what the requirement of the position is. The plus side is you can do anything. Watch You Tube, have a cam chat with your secretary who is at home, play games or bitch about your boss on Yahoo. Till your ears drums are vibrating fine, your job is secure.
When your managers do all the calculations and submit just the graphs to you, don’t trouble yourself to understand. Just nod your head. Be mean. Throw jargon. Ask mode and median. Keep throwing your gaze on your female subordinate outside and inside debate about dropping curves. Never allow a meeting to decide anything. Ask them to think and come back. Take graphs home, check with someone and next day decide. To decide you need not justify anything. You can decide because as General Manager you have the power to decide.
When you fly in business class, a chauffeur drops you at a sea facing star resort and you call up the General Manager – “So how things are going there?” you know you are sitting at the top. When alls bills are paid by the company, stay calm. People down under are working. Your worry should be your comfort. Ensure everything of yours belongs to the company. Door mat at the door, the furniture in the house, the house, the dog, the S class Merc… just about everything.
Only your boots are yours. And you can decide when to hang them!
